I was rudely woken up by the phone ringing on a Sunday Morning, My day off! I have to pee so bad so I figure I can quietly sneak in an pee and my caller will never know. I was wrong my friend instantly hears the echo of a bathroom, and worse I realize I have to shit too. Bad! Crampy farty loose wet shit. I get a better release if I stand up to poop, he hears all the splat and splatter. I end up with a huge load of nearly diarrhea poop. Super thick super messy. We carry on talking about sports, xmas, and other very current events while I grunt and strain he hears and I am so embarrassed and try to make him believe I am not on the toilet. He hears my heavy sighs and gruntings. It was so messy I have to wipe 3-4x wiping from both directions, what a mess. Then While still chatting I bring you into my bowl and flush 3-4x is what it took to get this massive dump down and the skid marks destroy my toilet and even remain after the final flush. Which of course he hears and now I am angry and begin accusing him of wishing I was in the toilet, maybe he's the weirdO who likes it.
